Wednesday, March 23, 2016

There Are Still Good Times To Be Had

Coming to terms with this diabetes thing is a bit of a roller-coaster journey: some days I feel full of determination and hope, other times I feel old and tired and stupid, and some says I just want to cry all day as I grieve for lost opportunities and chocolate. Specifically, TradeAid milk chocolate. And that late night TradeAid hot chocolate drink before bed. I guess I could try Golden Milk but I'm not sure all the claims made for it are true - I gave up believing in magic a long time ago.

I have been finding lots of quotes on Facebook that seem wise, but I'm not sure I can live up to them.

I love this one - not just the words, but the artwork - but can't find the original to credit.

Then there was this:
"Some things in life cannot be fixed. They can only be carried."  
Megan Devine

It all sounds good, however there are days and times when the following seems to fit my state of mind more:
"One day I'll do amazing things. Today I'll be satisfied if I manage not to spill food on my boobs."

But there are good times. Times when I feel positive and believe I can make life work. Times when people are unexpectedly kind and loving and generous. Times when I even forget about diabetes for an hour or two - and for some of those hours I am actually awake!

Last weekend, womad was a little confusing. I tired way more easily than other years. I missed the easy eating and drinking without thought. I just wasn't as relaxed as usual. But it was still great. I had three out of four sons there, and their partners. Lots of friends, and one in particular, Emma, a young woman who has lived with Type 1 diabetes all her life, who is just so loving and supportive towards me. And there was food I could buy that wasn't too bad for me. And it only rained on the last evening. And I love womad and my womad people. Next year will be very different. Some of my family won't even be in the country, and some others of the womad gang will also be travelling. We may not be able to afford to go, or may not want to go if too many of the group aren't there. I've had 10 years of fun and memories, and am content with that.

Life goes on and there is always beauty and fun and love to be found.

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