tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1129078493058726326.post9110305376618055491..comments2023-06-21T01:11:32.393+12:00Comments on Meandering Through Secret Waters: Retirement?Callyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18365519986239394807noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1129078493058726326.post-71325078946518771842008-10-29T13:10:00.000+13:002008-10-29T13:10:00.000+13:00woah cally, thanks so much for writing back - i fe...woah cally, <BR/>thanks so much for writing back - i felt so wobbly writing all that down. i am feeling very much in limbo - home educators think i'm nutty for offering the kiddos a School Adventure and schoolies think i'm nutty to have homeschooled for so long. and i know that i have been making anti-classroom statements to myself and the rest of the world for years - mostly to justify my own position - when really there are some fabulous things going on everywhere, and some crap things too - in our classroom schools *and* in our home "schools". <BR/><BR/>and since making the School Decision, i am thinking of all the wonderful *positives* about The Classroom - gotta pat myself on the head lol. oh we are crazy creatures!!! <BR/><BR/>part of me wonders why there's this "us and them" mentality with the world? i prefer <I>a great big melting pot. big enough to take the world and all it's got.... </I>lol<BR/><BR/>and it's funny (again) that since i wrote the bit about peeps pulling away, those same peeps have been making plans to keep in touch next year - like friday after school at the beach instead of friday lunch etc. how fabulous is THAT? yeah.<BR/><BR/>interesting about feeling like we've screwed things up with our firstborn - me too - i wonder if it's the guinea pig thing? i am so thankful there's been a chance for me to undo/redo my friendship with Danny. he teaches me so much about life. <BR/><BR/>roight, i think i've unloaded quite enough here. and my mouth is full of crunchie bar... gonna take these lads for a walk!!!<BR/>kiss Xskatey katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05586048408864521948noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1129078493058726326.post-26921577288808958852008-10-22T13:40:00.000+13:002008-10-22T13:40:00.000+13:00Hi Kate,This all sounds so very familiar. There we...Hi Kate,<BR/><BR/>This all sounds so very familiar. There were times when I too thought of doing what you are planning, but I guess I was held back by a few things. One was that I screwed up so badly with my relationship with my eldest, that I wanted to do better with my younger three - and as I seemed to be doing better, wanted to make the lost of it! Then there was the fact that I couldn't actually think of anything I wanted to do!<BR/><BR/>The down side is that I really don't know who I am outside of my kids - even my writing has centred mainly around my sons - poetry, writing for homeschool mags etc etc.<BR/><BR/>Even my bookmaking arose from a passing interest of my eldest son! That I love, and increasingly I love growing stuff - I can even handle worms with my bare hands now!<BR/><BR/>But gardening and book making are solitary occupations, and I find myself overwhelmed by loneliness sometimes, though I am increasinly finding the solitude a pleasant thing, so I guess I'll get there in the end.<BR/><BR/>I have seen that detachment too, when friends have put their kids in school. I see it as a two (or more) sided thing.<BR/><BR/>I can feel an awkwardness inside myself at times, a sudden pulling myself up as I go to make one of those anti-school comments that we homeschoolers often make - often to encourage and remind ourselves of some of the reasons we homeschool - so I'll pull myself back as I realise that the newly or about to be ex-homeschooling mum just doesn't need that right now. Sometimes I felt a little jealousy that she has had the courage to do what I want to do at times. Sometimes I feel mad because she is taking away one of my son's friends, and thus making him feel abandoned. Sometimes I feel abandoned.<BR/><BR/>But then I also see the mother who is heading for school and a new personal future pulling back. Saying lots of positive things about school as if trying to get me to say, hey! You're right! I'll send mine too! Or starting to criticise homeschooling, and homeschooling families - they aren't friendly enough, there just isn't enough challenge for my boy. Starting to talk about how they can't be happy without something more challeging to their mind than homeschooling, as if the rest of us h/sing mums are too thick to need our minds challenged.<BR/><BR/>I guess we are all ultra senstive at these times. Some friendships will survive, others won't. And it won't necessarily be your fault or their fault, but rather the insecurities in each, and the basis of the relationship. It often isn't until afterwards that you realise that the friendship was based around particular activities or children's friendships or particular shared outlooks on just one or few subjects - such as homeschooling.<BR/><BR/>Be greatful for the friendships that last - and look forward to the new friendships that are waiting in your future.<BR/><BR/>Well, that's what I'm telling me, and trying to believe!<BR/><BR/>Maybe I'll get over your way this summer - it would be nice.<BR/><BR/>Cally<BR/>xoxCallyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18365519986239394807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1129078493058726326.post-87533951677036537942008-10-09T15:53:00.000+13:002008-10-09T15:53:00.000+13:00cally, i hear you. and i wonder if part of my very...cally, i hear you. and i wonder if part of my very own change of horses midstream (going back to uni next year, kiddos going to school) is linked to the "empty nest" i already feel with Danny leaving home this year? and wondering who Katie is outside my homeskooling-box?? and a desperate need to find another identity besides "mum". and frightened of losing myself down a plughole too.<BR/><BR/>no ideas on the "mates" scene. but do ya wanna know something funny? i can already feel my home ed mates (subconsciously) pulling away from me a bit since i announced our long-wrangled-over plans for next year. perhaps friendships are more fluid than i thought? i prefer status quo too.. and i pine for my mates-since-our-teens who live around the globe too.<BR/><BR/>just talking aloud. we are compliKATEd (sorry, couldn't resist) creatures for sure.<BR/><BR/>and what you said about <I>self-centred, unreasonable, intolerable</I>... i think that everyone has parts of those within. but we all have sunshine to share, too.<BR/><BR/>much love, if you're ever over our way, i'd love a coffee Xskatey katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05586048408864521948noreply@blogger.com